Love, a Four Letter Word Vomit

I've decided I shouldn't be allowed to speak anymore. From this point forward, I should only be allowed to communicate via text and sign language. Maybe, just maybe, incidents like this morning won't happen again.

Let's be clear here, this is not the first time my mouth's got me into trouble. This time, I can't take back what I said without looking like more of a fool.

You see, this morning I told my boyfriend I loved him before getting out of his car after he drove me to work. This is the same boyfriend I've been dating for almost three months. Just three months. Three little months. God help me.

The words just came out of my mouth as I said goodbye and then were followed by an awkward I'm sorry and a quick exit (well, as swift of an exit as my mortification would let me).

Side note: I almost face-palmed in front of him after my impromptu declaration. Now that would have made the experience way more awesome, agreed? What is wrong with me?!?

So here I sit at work, vowing to never talk again in his presence. Apparently, my mouth cannot be trusted to follow the strict instructions set by my will of not saying "I love you" to my boyfriend before he says it to me.

But no, oh noooo, the moment my brain is slightly turned off and I'm not thinking of anything in particular My mouth decides to blurt "I love you." Jesus Christ. Clearly, I can only be trusted with text and sign language. From now on, the sound of my voice will be a privilege to hear and not a common occurrence --as it is right now because I just LOVE to talk. There is is again, that word. Ugh. I disgust myself. I really do.

To make matters more interesting, le boyfriend is picking me up from work today (as he usually does because he refuses to let me walk four miles each way --see, how could I not l*** him?). I briefly considered walking home in order to avoid the obvious awkwardness (because the scene keeps replaying in my mind to my simultaneously oscillating humor and mortification). A vow of silence seems appropriate at this point so that I don't end up blurting that L word every five seconds.

Honestly, I do feel this way, but I'm mostly upset my mouth ran away with it. It was supposed to be my decision, dammit! My mouth created this mess and didn't give me the tools to solve it.

Fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck!

A vow of silence may be the way to go. Seriously.